


Pest Control

by jaimeajamais



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8391721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimeajamais/pseuds/jaimeajamais
Summary: Lexa really, really hates bats.  Pure fluff, one shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I promise an update on Si Vis Pacem is in the works, but in the meantime, enjoy this little fluffernutter fic! Got this idea from a video I saw on Facebook with a guy who was freaking out because there was a bat in his house.

“Oh my god, kill it!” Clarke’s scream echoes throughout their two-level townhouse, panicking the tiny, flapping creature in their living room. Its movements become more and more frantic as the blonde vaults over the couch and dives behind Lexa, spinning the taller woman around and placing her firmly between Clarke and the anxious animal.

 

Lexa hates bats. She’s never told Clarke – they’ve only been dating for a little less than a year now and it’s just their second week of living together – but she really, really hates bats. She tries to tell herself that it’s just because they carry diseases like rabies and not because of their creepy little bodies and their jerky, insane movements, but it’s definitely those last two things. And their faces and their teeth. And that whole Dracula thing.

 

But this thing with Clarke is still new, and Clarke is definitely (maybe) even more terrified than Lexa, so she squares her shoulders and bravely turns her back on the careening animal to face her girlfriend. “Don’t worry, babe,” she says, hoping she sounds more confident than she feels. “It’s just scared. I’ll go open the door and it’ll fly right out.”

 

Clarke is staring at her like she’s lost her mind. “Lexa, that’s a bat,” she says, as if Lexa maybe didn’t know that before and that’s why she’s being so stupid about it. When Lexa doesn’t immediately break out in hysterics, Clarke repeats herself, her voice climbing as she speaks. “That is a bat. There’s a bat in our house.” The blonde jabs her arm out to punctuate this last sentence, pointing at where the creature has flown uncomfortably closer. “Can’t you just shoot it or something?”

 

Lexa feels her fear start to rise in response to Clarke’s own, but she forces herself to stay calm. “I can’t use my sidearm for pest control, Clarke,” she reasons, “It’s against departmental policy. And anyway, it’s too risky. We live in a townhouse, I could easily shoot through a wall and hit one of our neighbors by accident.”

 

Clarke’s azure gaze is pleading, and Lexa raises her hands in surrender. “Look, I’ll call animal control, okay babe? We can just stay in the corner until they get here.” She turns to look for her cell phone and finds it lying on the far end of the couch. The bat has settled down for the moment and is perched on the ceiling on the other side of the room, its wings wrapped snugly around its body. Taking a deep breath, Lexa begins to skirt around the edge of the couch. The time-space continuum is definitely taunting her, because her phone seems to be getting farther and farther away as she moves, and time seems to be slowing down. She watches in terror when the furry predator untangles itself in slow motion from its self-imposed cocoon and glides down towards her, claws outstretched to tear at her face.

 

And then, suddenly, time speeds up again and Lexa is letting out an inhuman shriek as she bolts away from the couch and back towards Clarke, lunging at her girlfriend and tackling her to the floor. She valiantly (not on purpose) covers Clarke’s body with her own as the bat takes off on a zigzagging rampage around the room, the only sound that of its flapping wings and Lexa’s own near-sobbing breaths.

Clarke’s hands are everywhere, roving, checking to make sure Lexa’s skin is intact and that the creature didn’t actually hurt her. Once she realizes that Lexa is fine, Clarke starts to laugh, earning a mortified glare from her girlfriend. “It’s just a bat, Clarke,” the blonde mocks, puffing out her chest and pulling her face into an imitation of Lexa’s cool disinterest.

 

Lexa huffs, and nimble fingers curl into her wavy brown locks, scratching at the nape of her neck. “It’s okay to be scared, Lex,” Clarke mutters, shifting her weight underneath Lexa so that she can lean up and graze the side of her cheek with soft lips. “You know you can show me that.”

 

Green eyes meet blue, and Lexa melts at the sincerity of Clarke’s gaze. “I know,” she mutters, and Clarke laughs again at her stubborn grumbling. Unable to help the smile spreading across her face, Lexa leans in and gives the other woman a swift, sweet kiss. “I love you, you mean thing.”

 

Clarke’s laughter is everything. Lexa gives herself another moment to revel in the sound before a high-pitched chirp issues from above them, and both girls twist around in horror to see that their unwanted guest has now started to vocalize its unhappiness at being trapped and is making slow, wide loops around the living room and kitchen.

 

“As much as I want to, I don’t think we can stay here forever,” Clarke starts, gently pushing Lexa away.

 

The brunette moves to give her girlfriend some room, shooting the blonde a dejected look. “I didn’t get the phone,” she admits, looking longingly to where the rose gold square sits, still in the same position, on the couch.

 

Clarke’s gaze searches hers for a moment, and Lexa starts to worry when she sees it illuminate with the same look Clarke got just before the last prank she decided to play on Raven. That one nearly ended in Lexa’s premature death when Anya used Raven’s toothbrush instead and Lexa tried to intervene in her resulting murderous rampage. She doesn’t like her odds with this one either, especially not when Clarke suddenly shouts, “Cover me!” And leaps from her position on the floor, darting for the front door.

 

Lexa half-rises from the crouch she was in, unsure of how to “cover” Clarke in this situation. As if on cue, the bat notices the running blonde and goes after her, flying low and straight and aiming right for her.

 

Without consciously deciding to, Lexa leaps from her crouch and darts after them, preparing to – what? Tackle the bat? Jump in front of Clarke? She’s mid-sprint when she sees her lacrosse stick leaning against the couch on the other side. She snatches it up without stopping and keeps going.

 

Clarke’s made it down the stairs and is flinging the door open and rushing to the side, leaving a wide open gap for the tiny brown blur to just fly straight through. But the little bastard apparently isn’t interested in freedom. It barely even _looks_ at the open door before circling back around toward Clarke. Blue eyes widen almost comically as the blonde realizes her mistake, and then she’s beelining back towards Lexa, running like her life depends on it.

 

She almost doesn’t make it, and Lexa takes a running leap forward, sailing past Clarke and planting her feet, raising her stick to hit the bat just as it flies headlong into the net at the top of her crosse. Lexa barely believes her luck as she feels the soft impact of its furry body in the back of the net, and then she is angling the stick, pulling it back and pitching it forward, sending the bat flying out the front door and into the neighbor’s front yard. She hurtles forward and slams the door before the little demon manages to make its way back inside, leaning against the back of the door and breathing heavily.

 

Clarke is in her arms a minute later, both of them shaking, twin piles of relief and nervous laughter. Clarke buries her face in Lexa’s unruly mane, and Lexa drops the lacrosse stick as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend, finding comfort in the warmth and solidity of the body before her. Clarke is still shaking as she babbles, “Oh my god, I love you. That was so hot, I swear, the hottest thing I’ve seen you do in a really long time. And later, I promise I will do insane things to you, I mean to every part of your body. Truly insane things.” Lexa shivers for an entirely different reason, feeling heat start to pool in her stomach.

 

But Clarke is pulling back, looking up into her face, questioning. “For now, though, can we just… cuddle and watch a comedy or something? I really need to forget that that just happened.”

 

Lexa slides her hands down to cup Clarke’s rear, lifting her up until Clarke jumps and lets her legs wrap around the brunette’s hips. Lexa carries her girlfriend up the stairs, mumbling her agreement. Only when they’ve settled into the couch, Clarke’s legs on Lexa’s lap, the remote in Clarke’s hand picking their Netflix movie, does Lexa speak again. “Oh, and babe?”

 

Clarke’s questioning look tells Lexa that her girlfriend is listening, and Lexa gives her the sternest look she can muster as she lays down her demand. “We’re never leaving the bedroom window open again.”

 

Wordlessly, Clarke leans over and extends her hand to Lexa. Lexa takes it, and they shake once and settle back into their previous positions, content in the knowledge that the events of the day won’t be repeated anytime soon.


End file.
